Cuckolding

The word cuckold is derived from the cuckoo bird, the cuckoo is a dove sized bird. Cuckoos are summer visitors and known for being brood parasites, it means that, instead of building their own nest, the females lay their eggs in other bird’s nests.

In relationship Cuckold was first used in medieval times to describe the husband of an unfaithful wife.

In the modern day usage of the word cuckolding as a fetish differs from its origins, as the cuckold is aware of and is consenting to their partner sleeping with another person.

More precisely, now in cuckolding husband watching his wife with another man, it can done any way you want, or whether it’s a female watching her husband with another female. It can also be done in any way as you want. But of course cuckolding can be enjoyed by couples of any sexual orientation, genders and roles, and there’s wide spectrum of ways that the couple view the affairs with the third party. In some instances, it’s more like an open relationship where only one partner has other lovers.

Now what would you do if your woman was unfaithful to you? If she slept with another man? Do you think that you could actually give her a permission to do it? How about being in the room watching her with another man, while they are doing it together. Are you shocked, surprised, appalled?

Many people get confused about the term but it is not cuckholding it is cuckolding, so let’s make sure to get this term right, so then why would a couple engage is this kind of bedroom fun ? There are many reasons -

Why to do it – Those are varied from the male perspective it can be exciting to see just how sexually desirable his partner is to other man. For others it’s more about the voyeuristic aspect of this whole experience. It mean watching is really erotic…This can also be a way to let go out of control. Men typically lead in the bedroom so the cuckolding fantasy can be a great way to completely let go out of any control. It can also be about wanting his partner to experience anything that she desires, so then it’s all about her pleasure for him.

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Bisexual tendencies - Sometimes it can be also about bisexual tendencies or bisexual curiosity for the man. While he himself doesn’t want to engage sexually with another guy, he can get a taste of that experience by watching his wife with that man or even by smelling or tasting the other guy on his wife body and skin later on.

Power play - It can be about power play, where the male partner becomes dominated, submissive or may be even humiliated in this entire experience. So he can be actually getting turned on by his own powerlessness, while being leased and denied his wife’s sexuality. From the female perspective, this experience can be extremely empowering. It is all about allowing the woman to be sexual even powerful, desiring sex and not being shammed about it.

Freedom to Express - We are still living in a society that glorifies the shy, submissive, caring mother figure, devoiced of any social desires, so now we have the specific why the cuckolding, where the woman can express herself sexually in a very daring and out there way. Besides women can have extremely high sex derives, higher than their male partner. So cuckolding can be sort of a way to outsource the job of satisfying her to another guy. Woman have the ability to orgasm many times and to keep going much longer than the guy can. So cuckolding can be a great way to enlist another guy to help with satisfying the desire of a woman whose partner libido of lower than her and from the perspective of the couple, this can be a way to introduce kink and variety into their bedroom to revive their potentially boring sex life, to bring in a new spark and new excitement.

To feel the Thrill - The partner can also find it really thrilling just how risky this behaviour is, it’s so taboo too, so transgressive in terms of what the majority of modern society considers inappropriate. So that cuckolding itself can be a huge thrill plus it’s a little bit like group sex and a lot of people are into that.

Is cuckolding wrong - Time for the big question, Is it wrong, and the answer is no absolutely not.. There is nothing wrong with any sex act as all involved people are consulting adults. Cuckolding is not shameful, wrong or dirty. It is a beautiful act that people can choose to share together. And as lovely as everybody walks away feeling satisfied, happy and nurtured by the experience that’s all that matters. Cuckolding is not cheating since every person is consenting to the experience. And it doesn’t reflect partly on the male partner either.

There is nothing wrong with being submissive in this kind of scenario, and it doesn’t make you less of a man either. Cuckolding is a actually quite common and as is the case with any sexual fantasy it’s perfect normal to play with that fantasy, either only in our imaginations or actually physically playing it out in our bedroom. So let’s get practical how to actually make this sexual fantasy happen.

How to do it - First of all you will need to talk to your partner about it, making sure that they are on board and happy to participate is obviously a must. Discuss also how both of you see this fantasy happening, what are the details, who will be your bull, where will it happen etc.. It’s also very important to discuss any boundaries that come up around this scenario. A common one is a use of protection to avoid pregnancy. Others can include how long the scene will go for is the lover, a friend or a stranger. What kind of behaviour absolutely can’t not be happen etc.. This could take time quite a few chats over a space of weeks or months so keep patience.

Who will the Bull - Here next it’s a good idea to sort of test the waters, so it might be start to looking for your Bull (The man who will satisfy the natural or any kind of unnatural sexual desire of wife or girlfriend) he could be known or from online or any dating app, what feeling come up for both of you as you are looking for a potential candidate that might join you in your bedroom? How about going to a bar or club and approaching a stranger, both of you or just the woman. While the man is watching his partner interact with the other guy. What feelings are coming up? Is it still okay or may be it’s too overwhelming to feed the jealousy, insecurity and fear about what might be happens? But if all is going well, then it might be time to start looking for the guy for real. You both need to decide whether this should be someone you know or a stranger, and how you are going to find this guy, once you have found him the three of you will need to sit down together for a deep conversation about the needs, desire and boundaries of all involved.

Caution - It’s also a great idea to have a safe word. Something like traffic lights can work well. When someone calls orange, It’s a time to be careful and to slow down in order to not cause any harm or upset to anyone involved. And Red means completely stopping the scene in order to discuss what happened to take care of any need and to chat about how to improve things next time. It’s also okay if someone changes their mind halfway through the experience, if anybody’s hell YES change to hell NO, then that’s why a valid enough reason to discontinue the scene.

Post Orgasm - Nobody should ever put up with anything sexually that they are not comfortable with even if the other people are having fun and finally aftercare, Do take care of each other even after the experience is over. Have a chat, a cuddle or whatever is needed right after, and also check in with everyone a few days later. For most people is a fairly daring experience and even a small gesture of care can mean a lot.

Don’t pressurise yourself - Always remember that not everybody needs to engage in cuckolding in their relationship. If you feel in your heart that is not for you. You don’t have to do it. Simple don’t ever let anyone pressure you to doing something that you don’t want to do. Otherwise it can be quite damaging for you personally and for relationship. So typically people who feel insecure, jealous or anxious in their relationship will struggle with cuckolding. Also couples who experiencing any insight that should be addressed in couple therapy should take care of their relationship first before bringing anyone else into the picture. Because if you think that playing with cuckolding will fix your shaky marriage or relationship you should think again.

 

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Sources –

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Disclaimer –

This article / blog is for information purpose only, but by no means it’s complete and exhaustive explanation on the whole topic. This blog is intended for individual of 18 years or older. This site never answer any personal question or provide any kind of sex advice, nor it’s intended as a substitute for therapy.