How to make love in old age


Since the evolution of human being on this earth and till today the development, modernisation, growth, industrial revolution etc, we see and observe globally is only possible due to strong mental, physical, and sexual health of human being.

Everyone loves to read, discuss and talk about on every topic except sex in older age.  But why the sexual activity of older people remains taboo in many societies? Is it unnatural, prohibited, uncommon, out dated, immoral?

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It has become a normal tendency to desexualise older people in many families, culture and societies without defying any specific reasons. This opinion is oftenly supported by young generation. Perhaps they assume that sexual activities are only for them and they are more capable to do it because they are in 20s, 30s or 40s.

Now time has changed, age is no bar for sexual activities. Age is just a number. This opinion has changed because a larger number of people reaching 50 and above are more sexually active than before. Any person who is more cautious about health, diet, regular physical exercise, meditation is more capable to perform much better. No one can separate sexual health from mental and physical health.

May be you are an older person and you are asking yourself different question about your sex life, whether you are sexually active or not, or may be, you are still young but you would like to know more about this for yourself or for someone else.

So if you are desirous to know about the inns and outs of sex at older age, so first of all keep in mind that you can’t be old for sex that is not possible. You can choose yourself to stop having sex at some point of your life but you never have to stop it compulsorily and you never get old for it.

You might need to adjust the way that you have sex in order to accommodate for different changes that your bodies go through as you are, but the idea that older people should or are supposed to stop having sex at certain point is completely false.

Obviously all are used to the idea of associating sex and around with youth fullness. Love to look at young, fit, smooth bodies and think about touching, pleasure, getting horny and having sex!! But don’t feel the same way about the older, more wrinkly bodies of the previous generation and their sexual activities. It doesn’t mean that sexual activities are wrong or that shouldn’t be happening.

Sex desire and drives for intimacy doesn’t go away with age, yes certain things like health issues, medication or limited mobility can reduce it up to some extent, but it doesn’t mean that older people don’t have sexual needs or that they no longer have desire of intimate touch, when someone attain to age of 60s, 70s and beyond, body changes and they are usually not as able as they used to be when they were younger.

Many people experience health issues, go through surgeries, take medication etc, all these things can intervene with the libido and sex drives. The sexual function itself changes as well, at times quite dramatically.

Erections often weaken or even go away completely. Vaginas become drier and more fragile. So penetration can become challenging and at times impossible for some couples. But none of these needs to stop from remaining sexually active with each other for as long as anyone wish, because ultimately sex is not only about the act of inserting a hard penis inside the wet vagina, no sex is much involved and profound than that.

It is important to realise that sex at 60s is not going to look the same as sex in your 20s, but that’s absolutely normal. It should not be seen as failure or as a source of grief or frustration. Body changes with age and sexual function & ability changes too, that’s natural. Nothing to get worried.

What is not natural is glorifying you and rejecting the idea that older age could be valid, beautiful and sexual part of your life. So think of senior sex as something that you get to design, taking into account any limitations of you and your partner’s body.

It might be that the medication is reducing the hardness of your partner’s erections? Explore different ways to play with his soft penis or with a dildo. Your vagina doesn’t  get wet anymore? Discuss using a lubricant together, or give him oral or wanking, Your hip replacement is making certain movement painful? Look for position that will keep both of you comfortable. It’s all mutual between you and your partner.

Your stamina is not what it used to be in younger age? Slow down, take breaks and keep switching roles so that both of you take turns being active or try morning sex when people typically feel more refresh and energised, because remaining sexually active well into your senior years has actually many proven benefits.

It strengthens the intimate bond with your partner keeping you both more happy and satisfied together. It provides a great way to experience your body and to keep you fitter and healthier as long as you do more than lie there and let your partner do all the work. It boosts your confidence, mental health and general well being, regular orgasm are just fantastic for your body and mind and at the end of the day it’s your body, your relationship and your sex life.

If you give in to ideas of others about what you should or shouldn’t be doing with your gloriously. It might cost you a lot of pleasure and happiness. So decide for yourself do you want to remain sexually active and what would that ideally look like. May be it’s with your partner, or your own or may be both, is it the same position every time or there is a lot of exploration, experimentation and playing, do you use lubes or you don’t, do you spend  in sex toys, sexy lingerie and other bedroom accessories? What do you do in your bedroom is nobody’s concern, so don’t let anybody educate you that you are too old for sex.

Remember that, in many ways you also have an advantage over the younger people. They are still often played by people pleasing or by toxic ideas that they learn well about sex from various platforms. They often don’t know what they actually want in bed and if they do. They are usually embarrassed to ask because sometimes it’s not natural or not accepted by their partner.

While you have the benefit of deeper self awareness and quite frankly of less love to give, which means that you have much more freedom to explore different things in bed and to design your sex life to your liking. You can explore without goals or requirement and you don’t have to worry about pregnancy which can also be a great plus.

So if needed, talk to your partner, discuss what  both of you want, need and desire in the bedroom. May speak to your medical consultant, if you are not sure how an active sex life might affect your health, perhaps there might be some limit on the older age for reproduction, but sexual activities can easily be performed, enjoyed and experienced very well into the later years of life, keep playing and keep enjoying for the next so many years.   


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Disclaimer – This article / blog is for information purpose only, but by no means it is a complete and exhaustive explanation on the whole topic. This blog is strictly intended for individual of 18 years or older. This blog / site never answer any kind of sex advice, nor it is intended as a substitute for therapy.





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