How
to make love in old age
Since the evolution of human being on this earth and till
today the development, modernisation, growth, industrial revolution etc, we see
and observe globally is only possible due to strong mental, physical, and
sexual health of human being.
Everyone loves to read, discuss and talk about on every
topic except sex in older age. But why
the sexual activity of older people remains taboo in many societies? Is it
unnatural, prohibited, uncommon, out dated, immoral?
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It has become a normal tendency to desexualise older
people in many families, culture and societies without defying any specific
reasons. This opinion is oftenly supported by young generation. Perhaps they
assume that sexual activities are only for them and they are more capable to do
it because they are in 20s, 30s or 40s.
Now time has changed, age is no bar for sexual activities.
Age is just a number. This opinion has changed because a larger number of
people reaching 50 and above are more sexually active than before. Any person who
is more cautious about health, diet, regular physical exercise, meditation is
more capable to perform much better. No one can separate sexual health from
mental and physical health.
May be you are an older person and you are asking
yourself different question about your sex life, whether you are sexually
active or not, or may be, you are still young but you would like to know more
about this for yourself or for someone else.
So if you are desirous to know about the inns and outs of
sex at older age, so first of all keep in mind that you can’t be old for sex
that is not possible. You can choose yourself to stop having sex at some point
of your life but you never have to stop it compulsorily and you never get old
for it.
You might need to adjust the way that you have sex in
order to accommodate for different changes that your bodies go through as you
are, but the idea that older people should or are supposed to stop having sex
at certain point is completely false.
Obviously all are used to the idea of associating sex and
around with youth fullness. Love to look at young, fit, smooth bodies and think
about touching, pleasure, getting horny and having sex!! But don’t feel the
same way about the older, more wrinkly bodies of the previous generation and
their sexual activities. It doesn’t mean that sexual activities are wrong or
that shouldn’t be happening.
Sex desire and drives for intimacy doesn’t go away with
age, yes certain things like health issues, medication or limited mobility can
reduce it up to some extent, but it doesn’t mean that older people don’t have
sexual needs or that they no longer have desire of intimate touch, when someone
attain to age of 60s, 70s and beyond, body changes and they are usually not as
able as they used to be when they were younger.
Many people experience health issues, go through
surgeries, take medication etc, all these things can intervene with the libido
and sex drives. The sexual function itself changes as well, at times quite
dramatically.
Erections often weaken or even go away completely.
Vaginas become drier and more fragile. So penetration can become challenging
and at times impossible for some couples. But none of these needs to stop from
remaining sexually active with each other for as long as anyone wish, because
ultimately sex is not only about the act of inserting a hard penis inside the
wet vagina, no sex is much involved and profound than that.
It is important to realise that sex at 60s is not going
to look the same as sex in your 20s, but that’s absolutely normal. It should
not be seen as failure or as a source of grief or frustration. Body changes
with age and sexual function & ability changes too, that’s natural. Nothing
to get worried.
What is not natural is glorifying you and rejecting the
idea that older age could be valid, beautiful and sexual part of your life. So
think of senior sex as something that you get to design, taking into account
any limitations of you and your partner’s body.
It might be that the medication is reducing the hardness
of your partner’s erections? Explore different ways to play with his soft penis
or with a dildo. Your vagina doesn’t get
wet anymore? Discuss using a lubricant together, or give him oral or wanking,
Your hip replacement is making certain movement painful? Look for position that
will keep both of you comfortable. It’s all mutual between you and your
partner.
Your stamina is not what it used to be in younger age?
Slow down, take breaks and keep switching roles so that both of you take turns
being active or try morning sex when people typically feel more refresh and
energised, because remaining sexually active well into your senior years has
actually many proven benefits.
It strengthens the intimate bond with your partner
keeping you both more happy and satisfied together. It provides a great way to
experience your body and to keep you fitter and healthier as long as you do
more than lie there and let your partner do all the work. It boosts your
confidence, mental health and general well being, regular orgasm are just
fantastic for your body and mind and at the end of the day it’s your body, your
relationship and your sex life.
If you give in to ideas of others about what you should
or shouldn’t be doing with your gloriously. It might cost you a lot of pleasure
and happiness. So decide for yourself do you want to remain sexually active and
what would that ideally look like. May be it’s with your partner, or your own
or may be both, is it the same position every time or there is a lot of
exploration, experimentation and playing, do you use lubes or you don’t, do you
spend in sex toys, sexy lingerie and
other bedroom accessories? What do you do in your bedroom is nobody’s concern,
so don’t let anybody educate you that you are too old for sex.
Remember that, in many ways you also have an advantage
over the younger people. They are still often played by people pleasing or by
toxic ideas that they learn well about sex from various platforms. They often
don’t know what they actually want in bed and if they do. They are usually embarrassed
to ask because sometimes it’s not natural or not accepted by their partner.
While you have the benefit of deeper self awareness and
quite frankly of less love to give, which means that you have much more freedom
to explore different things in bed and to design your sex life to your liking.
You can explore without goals or requirement and you don’t have to worry about
pregnancy which can also be a great plus.
So if needed, talk to your partner, discuss what both of you want, need and desire in the
bedroom. May speak to your medical consultant, if you are not sure how an
active sex life might affect your health, perhaps there might be some limit on
the older age for reproduction, but sexual activities can easily be performed,
enjoyed and experienced very well into the later years of life, keep playing and keep enjoying for the next so many
years.
Image Credit – https://www.pexels.com
Sources –
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peer-reviewed studies, academic institution, related books and journals. We
always avoid using inauthentic references.
Disclaimer – This article / blog is for information purpose only, but by no means it is a complete and exhaustive explanation on the whole topic. This blog is strictly intended for individual of 18 years or older. This blog / site never answer any kind of sex advice, nor it is intended as a substitute for therapy.
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