Why Do People Cheat in Relationship


Do you agree that marriages are made in heaven? Some people might be agreed and some might say a very big No.

Marriage is social, legal and traditional union, regulated by customs, culture, beliefs, rules, laws. Marriage is always between two families, and performed with the prior consent and blessings of parents and elders and properly supported and recognised by families & society, and lifelong happily married relationship.

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On the other side, live-in relationship is just between two people normally couples, who are not married but live together in the same house, often engaged in romantic or sexually intimacy. It might be for short, longer period of time or permanent basis.

Whether, the relationship is through legal marriage or mutual live-in relationship. The foundation of any relation is trust, care and unconditional love. But in few cases, why this happens that after some period of time there is rift, misunderstanding, disbelief, decreasing level of love and trust?

Unfortunately people very rarely discuss the topic of cheating or infidelity and as a result, feelings can get seriously hurt. Some people get upset when their partner even looks at other woman or man while their partner is surprised because he or she would have never even thought that this could be considered a problem. This is why it’s so important to actually define infidelity in the relationship.

What is normal between the couples, Cheating is any situation where either one of partner forms a secretive with somebody else outside of the boundaries of what couple had previously agreed upon. It’s no problem with a man looking at other woman with appreciation or forming close friendship with female, as long as he is open and honest about it.

But it’s not appropriate, If he was to pursue a desire to form a physically intimate bond with them, because it’s one thing to feel & desirous towards somebody else, that can happens and he is not blamed for it, but it’s another thing all together what he does about that desire. And when he acts up on it, what couple had specifically agreed that we would not do. That is cheating. But in relationship, you really need to find out what is best for you. So according to research, historically men used to be likely to cheat, but not by that much, however in recent years it seems that this balance has started to even out with women straying approximately often as men do.

Let’s try to explore few reasons of infidelity --

Dissatisfaction – A very famous quote -- Love at first sight, doesn’t mean that couple knows and really trust each other properly. Infatuation arises due to outer beauty, sex appeal, status, job, financial and social status, wealth, but infatuation doesn’t identify education level, status, honesty, human behaviour, attitude, manners, way of thinking and living, commitment towards family, responsibilities, dealing with problems etc.   

It is very easy to dream, but very difficult to materialise dreams into reality. As the time passes, love might get fades away, if the right person is not chosen wisely, and the financial and sexual needs are not fulfilled as expected. Then dissatisfaction arises, and dissatisfaction might easily lead to infidelity. In few cases females are found to be more likely to engage in cheating when they feels dissatisfied in their relationship due to financial and sexual incompatible with their partner. 

Less or no emotional connection – Relationship is based on trust and healthy emotional connection. It is the most important and inevitable for the couple to be emotionally connected with each other. Life is always not supposed to be path of rose buds, full of luxury, having fun, unnecessary spending money, It might be full of sorrow, ups and down as well.  Relationship is a commitment to share all odd and even, taking care of all usual needs and desires, to respect emotions of each other.

But few couples don’t or don’t want to realise that how important is to create, maintain, nurture a deep and honest connection in relationship. Problems are always there in life, but when a wise couple is well connected and facing the problem jointly, there would be a solution of every problem, and it would be easy for them to face and solve the odds together. But every couple doesn’t have that much patience and lose their confidence very early. This might be the reason of cheating due to lack of emotional connection in the relationship.

Unsatisfied sexual relation – Satisfactory sex is a natural biological need of every long lasting relationship. Without sex no relationship is complete. Sex might be a bond with your loving and affectionate partner, It provides pleasure, fun and security in relationship.

In new relationship, couples like to think, bring and try new techniques, fantasies, and experiences with each other to keep it fresh. Apart from it the needs, fantasies, and other activities that turn them on keep changing over time, that’s why, it’s so important for couples to communicate about sex on a regular basis.

Without regular communication, small sexual desires may be neglected or any of the partners might be too nervous to express something extra or big that anyone from the couple wishes to try. This can leave one member of a couple more likely to cheat and to look elsewhere to get their sexual needs met. Initial attraction and sexual excitement always be there between couples. So to avoid cheating and infidelity, couples must try to respect sexual desires and do their best to fulfil the need of each other.  

Men are supposed to take initiative in love, sex and care. When women find their partner, unable, not capable to fulfil the responsibilities, or feel, they are sexually incompatible with their loved one. They are found to be more likely to engage in cheating when they feel dissatisfied in their relationship.

Addiction – Addiction of any kind, like alcohol or any drugs is just like termite which slowly but completely ruins everything like physical health, financial stability, peace of happy family, No one would never tolerate any addicted partner. Because for habitual person, addiction is more important than partner, no emotional connection with family.

Just imagine, a woman is waiting for her partner in evening after work, but he is coming in late night in drunken stage, or sometimes not returning home at all. All time wasting hard earned money on alcohol and drugs. How long she would tolerate, or how long she would control on her homely needs and sexual desires and why? In this type of situation the chances of infidelity might be uncontrollable.

Sex addiction – Relationship needs a lot of unconditional trust, love, care, respect and support, in each and every situation of life. All days are not the same as always, life is full of ups and down. In relationship it’s mandatory to accept each other’s perfections and imperfections, and sharing of every happiness and sorrow together willingly.

If any of the partners assume and that relationship is just like an adult movie, and my partner should behave and act like porn star, my opposite partner should be always ready to quench my every kind of sexual desire weather normal or abnormal. Relationship is based on morals, social and personal value, self respect, is it possible for the partner to go and behave against all these? Or is it tolerable?

Mutual and consensual sex is always there and it’s inevitable in healthy and happy relationship. But behave like sex manic or sex addicted and demand for unusual, unnatural, untimely and excessive sex would definitely hurt the emotions, destroy the entire relationship, and in this situation the possibility would be very high for the partner to look for a decent, humble, polite and normal behaviour person who doesn’t act and demand like sex manic.

Loneliness – For better opportunities, work nature, business commitments, often, couples have to live apart from their loved one for a longer period of times, it doesn’t mean that love between them would be washed away.

But if one of them is away for a longer period of time, the other one would be entirely lonely, to get rid of this problem and to keep themselves busy. One finds new friends, new activities that might involve interacting with other people to fill the gap. The interaction might bring them too close, they might begin to love each other, begin to enjoy the company of new friend.

Although living apart doesn’t matter in true love, but loneliness and physical, emotional need might compel them to cross the boundary and it might be the most common cause of cheating. 

Unnecessary quarrel – Difference of opinion, conflict or disagreement is very normal and inevitable in any relationship. But if it happens regularly,  just to cover up own mistake, hide some abnormal facts from other partner, unnecessary blaming, let down and humiliate the partner without any justified reasons, without considering that how much it could damage the peace and happiness of the family, relationship.

Any partner would not tolerate and stay in a relationship where their self respect, is on stake. Regardless of the cause, this may act as a strong motivator to become intimate with someone else and might enhance the chances of infidelity.   

Retaliation – For some people, to cheat their partner might be easy without thinking that this may get them emotionally hurt, angry and open the way to take revenge. Whatever might be the reason, but people sometimes cheats out of anger or keep trying to get revenge. To teach the partner to go through the same emotions just to feel the pain they caused.

It might be the reaction of the action taken by the partners, they played with my emotions and cheat me, now it’s my turn to teach them a lesson by cheating them.

Opportunist partner – Flickering minded partner always looks for an opportunity to cheat, might be for more luxury, fun, more financial security, better life, variety in sex. It doesn’t mean every couple fall is this category and prefer to cheat.

It might happen when one partner is feeling frustrated with the behaviour and distance in relationship, or feeling ignored in love and affection. In this kind of situation, if someone offers companionship, physical interest, appreciate beauty and sex appeal, invite to try something new, infidelity is more likely to happen.

How to safeguard your relationship

Unfortunately there is no facile solution to create certain and permanent remedy that neither one of the partners will ever strong. Sexual passion and desire is a very strong and unpredictable force that can lead people to the risk their relationship, families, jobs, careers etc.

However there are things one can do to minimise the risk of infidelity. The truth is that relationship, satisfaction is among the stronger predictors of whether the partners will ever stray. So first of all, have that conversation with your partner or spouse about what behaviour exactly are not appropriate for you. And then make sure to work on your connection together. A relationship is a living orgasm that keeps always changing and evolving and if you don’t stay on top of it, then life’s challenges and temptation will get on top of your connection.

Primary reason is that people quote for not cheating on their partner is feeling happy together. Other reasons quoted are not willing to feel quietly or fear that their partner might retaliate and cheat on them as revenge, so they would rather not risk that. But  the most important one is feeling happy with your partner, and both need to start seeing the relationship as this gorgeous, delicate flower that requires daily attention and care in order to bloom and  therein , but if the infidelity does happens, there are ways to repair it and to stay together.

Ultimately it’s always a personal choice whether a person stays in the relationship after they cheated or were cheated on, but many couples do stay together. Mainly, if  they decide to work on their problems and to face their challenges without denial. You have to prove your dedicated, honest, faithful relationship, work and behave accordingly. It might be easy to cheat, but really very unbearable and painful to be cheated. So always try to avoid infidelity.


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Disclaimer – This article / blog is for information purpose only, but by no means it is a complete and exhaustive explanation on the whole topic. This blog is strictly intended for individual of 18 years or older. This blog / site never answer any kind of sex advice, nor it is intended as a substitute for therapy.


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